WE'RE GONNA GO AMERICA ALL OVER THEIR ASSES

dear diary,

first blog entries are like the first time you have sex. passionate, sloppy, wet and clumsy. they are awkward like first kisses and you're not really sure what you're doing. first time i ever kissed a girl was at a school dance in the 6th or 7th grade. her name was taylor, and it was the weirdest experience ever. like an empty orifice full of dampness on a sail boat of love. and i brought her flowers or candy or chocolate, because i'm a sweetheart. first time i kissed a dude, oh lord, that is another story for a stormy day. i actually can't remember when i first kissed a guy. i know it has been done, more than once. at one point i considered myself bi-curious. i think i am just saying too many things right now. ANYWAY.

this morning i woke up at 8 AM. when i drink a lot the night before, it always happens that i wake up a ton earlier in the morning. it's such a fucking stupid condition. then i will crash a few hours after that and end up sleeping until 7 PM. why does this happen? WHY? going to bed perfectly sober makes me sleep for twelve hours. this is probably the lamest thing about me.

i called my mom earlier. she's awesome.

blogs make me feel so self-absorbed. i'm compooping. look it up.

love,

james

p.s. i will probably add to this when something mentally stimulating happens.