so we've got 3 months of free movie channels at my house (i'm home now) and me, not really willing to fall asleep sometimes find myself ****ACCIDENTALLY**** stumbling upon some pornographic movies. any person over the age of 13 has watched porn. it's no secret. i did, christ. however, i've never actually watched a full-length movie. let me tell you, these movies have the worst fucking plots - obviously the case because all they are made for is so you can watch people fuck. there's no sacredness to this. there's no shame in it either. the plots are incredibly hilarious because they are completely focused around the sex scenes. this is awesome in some ways. i mean, imagine writing a script where every snippet of dialogue and every action leads up to a 5 minute sex scene. could you fucking even think of that? i mean seriously. its like kids who are just discovering porn on the internet are writing these flicks. it's pretty entertaining.

i've also noticed a pattern in the, um, progression of the action. making out comes first (as i type this, someone is entering a copying room - unbeknownst to the person entering, some deep-dicking is happening underneath a table). after making out comes the oral sex. i've observed that it's normally the dude pleasuring the lady...this makes sense, i guess. i mean, if the woman goes nuts (LOL) on the guy first, it wouldn't really be appropriate (if you're into that kind of stuff, no offense...). after that the real fornicating occurs. (as i type this now, two COMPLETELY different characters are getting naked IN a hot tub [yes, they entered the hot tub with their clothes on (oh fuck, now they are proving my pattern wrong)]).

goddamn. so i've just been proved wrong. they started with the sexin' in the hot tub. now they are having pillow talk, sort of. i don't know. this blog entry is weird. don't judge me. die hard 2 is also on. i think i'm gonna switch to that.

peace out